Civanfan

Time to go be a professional panhandler...

2009-05-12T19:57:54Z

Well, as of last week, it seems I've somehow earned a BFA in Studio Art. And I'm sure I'll have many employers looking to beat down my door. Whoo.

I hate politics.

2008-12-26T15:12:49Z

Particularly when webcomics I otherwise enjoy greatly get political.

I especially hate having to drop them from my reading list when they prove that even otherwise intelligent people can be ignorant by insulting the only candidate I actually liked...over a month after the actual election...in a way that crosses the line from satire into open slander...and in a way that's funny only to a select group of ill-informed people who actively hate said candidate to the point where mentioning said candidate's name sends them into a paroxysm of mad laughter crossed with pure hatred and fear of the fact that said candidate became popular despite the media's best efforts.

I imagine their eyes rolling around in their heads as they chortle, spewing the rage-froth from their mouths, lips curled back in a hideous cross between a wicked cackle and a sneer. To the untrained eye, it may look like some kind of seizure, and in a way it is, as their minds struggle between unthinking rage and undeserved laughter. Their hands uncertain of whether to clench into fists of rage or shoot down their pants as they read.

And I just can't bring myself to look at the comic anymore.

So, even though I know it doesn't matter, this drop's leaving xkcd's bucket.

My haul this Christmas was the complete "Batman: The Animated Series", three sets of carpenter pants earlier this month, and (when it comes in the mail) Bat-Manga.

Nice, but what I really want is for the stupid MTSU website to acknowledge that I didn't graduate last year so I can register again.

Oh, and a job that will neither drive me crazy and which will permit me to go to school.

And plane tickets somewhere that isn't Murfreesboro.

New Plan!

2008-12-20T11:18:07Z

Right. Rather than re-enter school, I'll devote my free time to finding the right combination of energy drinks to send my soul spinning back into time so that I may eliminate the entirety of French Art from 1648 to 1900. This will prevent that class from existing, thus I will be unable to fail it.

Not only that, but being the only person on earth who retains the memory of Impressionism, I can self-train in it and singlehandedly re-introduce it into the world.

I realize that erasing an entire era of art entirely for my own selfish purposes may be what laymen call "evil", but keep in mind that doing this also means that Thomas Kinkade will probably no longer exist.

My only problem lies in the world's dwindling supply of Surge. You might think they took it off the market because it didn't sell, but the truth is due to a vital reaction it has with caffeinated gum, one which the Coca-Cola Company has harnessed for itself. That's why you don't remember the Coke III Riots of 2004, or that time in 1932 when they somehow managed to turn the entire ocean into Diet Sprite.

I figured as much...

2008-12-20T05:09:13Z

Because I failed French art history, I don't get to graduate.

At this point I'm not sure what to do. evidently, if I want to get my degree, I have to take another elective, and pass it this time.

If I get a loan, it adds to be debts, plus I doubt I could get a loan for one class.

If I somehow manage to scrounge up a job in this worthless town, I can earn enough to pay for one class, preferably one during the summer session. But if I get a job, I'd probably have to quit it or scale back any hours I should get in order to go to school.

I'm no good at dealing with this stuff...

I'll just sell three or four livers and a couple of gallons of blood. That should solve things.

...
...
...

Well, of course they wouldn't be mine.

Annoying week...

2008-12-12T05:05:31Z

Finished with finals, and got my grades back. I failed French Art History and got a "D" in Etching, which considering it's part of my minor, may prevent me from graduating.

Turns out, upon review that I didn't even need to take the French Art class in order to have enough elective hours to graduate. I could be wrong though. It could be that failing this class will also keep me from graduating.

This has been the worst semester I've ever had. I haven't been able to focus, I missed a paper in that French Art class because my writers block kept me from putting two words together. I just couldn't muster any interest in trying at anything.

All I wanted to do when I started college was to learn to paint and draw realistically. Now I'm making abstract pieces that everyone but me likes, and, hell, I just don't care anymore.

I only picked to major in art because it was something I needed to learn how to do. Once I learned how to express my self in paint, I should've changed to literature or something where I could write papers (which I'm actually good at) and make good grades. But i wanted to know how to make other kinds of art as well, so I stuck with it.

And now I'm in debt up to my eyeballs, and I can't even use my abilities because showing my work or selling it would require dealing with people, which has always been my beté noire.

I've been lashing out at people who don't deserve it all week, and I hate myself when I'm angry.

*Sigh* Guess I'll give that SMT beta a shot and see if it calms me down.

I can't wait 'til I can be my old carefree self again.

On the plus side, my little sister has shingles, and I've been getting a lot of mileage out of reminding people that it's technically called Herpes (Zoster). Maybe a bit too much.

I hate clay.

2008-10-01T22:12:52Z

I spent last night hunched over a wheel, trying to make five eight-inch cylinders. It took twelve hours. I ended up wedging something in the neighborhood of forty lumps of clay. It's kneading them to get lumps out. Kind of like dough, only about ten times tougher.

I had to wedge this much clay, because I couldn't form cylinders properly.

See, the lady who stands in front of the class and says things has this fun habit of seeing that I'm doing badly, and then completely ignoring me. Occasionally she even rolls her eyes. She claims that "everyone comes into it in their own time". This is basically her excuse for abandoning the class she's being paid to instruct for hours at a stretch and expecting us to fend for ourselves, while she stays in her office or wanders around the school. Even when she's in, she only compliments and gives advice to the students who already know what they're doing. According to MTSU Review, a site which allows one to give reviews about teachers, this has been a bad habit of hers since at least 2002.

After three weeks under her care, I am still barely able to center a lump of clay on the wheel. I only managed to get anything done at all after some of my fellow students told me what I was doing wrong. I think they call that "tee-ay-ching"? I wonder if it'll catch on?

Anyway, I've had to miss class today because every muscle in my body is a line of pain that travels up and down the entirety of my arms, legs and belly. Plus, if I see her anytime for the rest of the week, I have this horrible feeling I'll tell her exactly what I think of her.

Neef.

2008-09-11T10:25:28Z

I cannot center clay. I have five cylinders due in that class next week and I cannot stop the damn stuff from wobbling. The teacher's been giving out handouts that say to center yourself before you center the clay, but I'm the most self-centered person I know and it's still doing me no good.

Etching class doesn't seem likely to be going much better, I had to miss Tuesday because I got sick, so I'm going to be even further behind everyone else.

I had to take something like three Art History classes for electives this semester, and for a change, two of them (Mesoamerican Art and African Art) are actually interesting. The fact that the former seems to be mostly about how fake a lot of museum pieces are, and about the plunder and smuggling industry helps a lot, as does the fact that the latter has a really cute and sweet girl I haven't managed to entirely creep out yet (I think). French art in general is boring, and so is the class.

...I can't do anything right in any of my classes, actually. Maybe I'm just sick of everything, seeing as how it's probably my last semester of college, and I don't know what I'm going to do after this. Of course, I'd like to somehow make a living entirely off of painting, but I have neither the talent nor the drive.

Bah, enough. I've got to try and figure out how to make Flickr work, and then go to school and try to make up for the stuff I missed.

o_0

2008-04-21T22:44:08Z

So I have a storytelling class, but because I've taken up walking to school in a desperate effort to lose some weight, I'm always late. Today I was later than usual, and the door was closed (which meant someone was telling a story).

So I ended up waiting in the hall with one of the girls in the class. She looks feverish and pale, and asks me in a quivering voice if she thinks he'll call on her to tell a story today. I ask her if she's sick.

Her: "No. See, I'll level with you. I sell pot, 'cause I've been on my own since I was fifteen, and this morning two black guys broke into my house and robbed me."
Me: "..."
Her: "I'm not even a big time dealer! I'm just doing to to pay it for school, and I didn't have any problems until today. I don't know why they robbed me."
Me: "Uh, well...y'know...drugs and money make people go crazy."
Her: "Yeah...but this is the kind of thing you expect with people who do heroin or coke! (suddenly whispers) Do you smoke?"
Me: "No. You should just...uh, just tell the teacher you're sick..."
Her: "I've given so many excuses already..."

Fortunately, he called on the bottom half of the roll first.

Still, this is one of those times I wish I was better at talking to people. I mean, what do you say?

"Buy yourself a gun and a security system so you can, uh, deal illegal drugs in peace."?

"Ditch all your stuff, call the police and pray they don't search thoroughly."?

Bleg.

2008-03-21T05:57:52Z

Protestors on campus today (the 20th). Hilariously pathetic.

See, the anniversary of the beginning of the Iraq war was yesterday. In fact there had been a protest scheduled for the nineteenth, but it didn't happen. Why?

It was raining.

Many years ago, people whose causes were actually worth fighting for marched and protested, even though it could quite literally mean risking life and limb.

These affluent, well-fed, privileged college students couldn't draw enough courage from their convictions to actually brave a few raindrops while they waved their signs around and chanted generically.

Before, I've tried to stay politically neutral, and I still think politics are a waste of time, but displays like this have slowly been pushing me rightward. The model in Figure Drawing actually called President Bush a sociopath and said, in what she probably thought was a Profound, World-Shaking Tone "America deserves a recession! When will we finally get sick of all the killing and violence!?". Both my jaw and my ink-laden brush hit the floor, I spun on one foot, and quietly exited the room until I could get my teeth to stop grinding. When I came back in, she and a generally well-meaning acquaintance of mine were mutually snarling about waterboarding. This time I slammed the door.

For all the time I spend wandering the halls outside that classroom, you'd think I'd catch sight of that Peeping Tom that's supposedly been hanging about. Don't know what I'd do if I did, though. Tackle him and hold him for the campus police? Point out that the only cute models who show up are lesbians? Actually, I don't think he'd care about that last one.

My Lithography teacher came to class today for the first time since her husband died. She looked about ten years older than before, and clearly hadn't been sleeping. I'm afraid I didn't help at all by being my usual totally inept self. She had to leave early to pick some family up from the airport, and I actually printed something off the stone for the first time. It's time-consuming and complicated. And I've got to catch up on two weeks worth of work.

That's about it.

Oh, I've really gotten into Tim Powers' books lately. Unfortunately, my Dad doesn't seem to like him or Zelazny. Weird how our taste in books never seems to overlap.

Ouchies!

2008-03-17T10:25:27Z

Oh, Happy Crazy Mr. Chainsaw man lives in that house! I thought it was in the other one.

I hate shooter games...

"¡Un forastero!"

2008-03-15T09:48:27Z

I've started up Resident Evil 4 for my Wii, and I am utterly awful at it. I am slowly getting better at 180-degree turns, though, and I'm struggling with the village in the beginning, though I've finally gotten the good sense to run for cover instead of making my stand in the frigging center of the village. I am slowly getting better at kicking, but I'm hopeless at judging distances with the knife.

Missed almost a whole week of school due to being sick, and now I'm way behind.

That's about it, apart from the fact that Wikipedia's beginning to piss me off. I seem to have been laboring under the delusion that it was some sort of online encyclopedia devoted to giving people information. Fortunately the admins and their notability guidelines have set me straight.

I can't believe it.

2008-03-13T09:44:49Z

My Lithography teacher's husband, another professor at my school, died of a massive stroke yesterday. He broke his hip, and he seemed to be doing okay. He was even speaking to people on the morning before it happened.

It's horrible. I only spoke to him once or twice, but he was always very kind and funny. He liked my work. I wish I'd spoken to him more often, now.

I'm scheduled for her class today, and I don't know what I'll say if she shows up.

Hmm...it's dusty in here...got to post more often.

2008-01-24T06:57:12Z

I've been up to really stupid things lately. See, seniors get a rather large amount of money when they apply for a student loan, so I just now stupidly bought a used Wii on eBay for $400, after playing on a Wii just once in my lifetime. I hope I don't need to reformat it or anything, since it already has some games downloaded onto it.

One of my classes requires Photoshop, and I figured I'd get it so I could work on projects at home, and because I do have idea that I need to get off the ground.

Instead of pirating it like every other human being on the face of the earth, I bought a legitimate copy on eBay, only to find out when it arrived that installing it requires a DVD-ROM and not my CD-ROM. Which makes perfect sense, after all - why make a product anyone can use, when you can exclude people who spent hundreds of dollars for a pig in a poke?!?

...let's just say that now I have Photoshop on my computer...and since I did already buy the product, I don't feel half as guilty as I probably ought to. And I did go through quite a bit of anguish thanks to their stupid decision, a hurt I suppose having the Extended Version will salve quite nicely when I figure out how to use it. But what shall I do with my $300 coaster?

civanfan @ 2007-05-06T06:12:00

2007-05-06T12:02:29Z

I went to a party last night. With girls. Cute ones!

So, of course I mostly sat or stood around for three and a half hours and tried to be invisible. It worked out pretty well. It was a really foggy night, so I got some interesing pics.

Also, I think I've been watching too many "Dead Rising" videos on YouTube. I dreamed about that, combined with "Hey Arnold.", taking place in the housing complex where the party was held, on a night as foggy as this. Mostly just shepherding the kids around and trying to avoid the convicts. I never have the good common sense to arm myself in my dreams.

That was a tiring two hours...

2007-04-19T01:32:48Z

I don't know how Mom manages that whole "talking to people" thing...mostly I just lumbered around looking creepy, as I do so well. Still, the titles on my works made some people laugh, and I ran into someone I knew in high school, so I guess it worked out passably.

Irony.

2007-04-17T11:47:36Z

Recently a bill was defeated in the VA state legislature which would have permitted students on campus to carry weapons for self-defense.

The spokesman actually said "I'm sure the university community is appreciative of the General Assembly's actions because this will help parents, students, faculty and visitors feel safe on our campus." (Emphasis mine.)

That worked out nicely.

-

Let's see, I've got a painting show coming up at my school. I do kind of hope people like my stuff, but I'm actually more worried about getting into some classes I need next semester.

(...particularly after I named one of my paintings "Ill-Researched, Unrealistic, Childish Political Claptrap.")

I'd probably have graduated by now, but my crappy former advisor didn't contact me to help me pick out a minor or any electives.

I'd've liked to be a Drawing minor, but they don't offer that here, so I guess it's Printmaking or nothing, since my Clay stuff looks like cavemen made it, and Sculpture would probably require power tools of some sort. (I like my thumbs!)

Given that I've been focused strictly on abstract painting for the last two years, because I couldn't do real art, I don't think printmaking will turn out well.

The first actual scam I've encountered.

2007-03-19T14:12:03Z

Got this in my campus P.O. Box the other day. There's a bunch of posters all over the school telling kids to look in their P.O. Boxes, presumably for these cards.

http://www.msu.edu/~huntharo/scams/ndi/index.htm

http://www3.baylor.edu/Lariat/Archives/1997/19970321/14_dfk.html

I thought I wasn't going to have anything to do today, but it seems i'll have a fun day going around the campus and writing "scam" on every one of these I see.

Also, "Waiting for Godot" sucks. it makes me want to dig up my time machine, so I can throw rocks at Samuel Beckett's house.

FEEL OLD NOW! I ORDER IT!

2007-01-18T21:43:07Z

Toni Basil who sang "Hey Mickey" turns sixty-four this year.

Also, the Police's "Roxanne"? Turns thirty next year.

Do you feel your teeth falling out? A twinge in your spine?

...
'cause I do...

Hey, Future Self!

2006-12-23T18:59:59Z

Steal a time machine and bring me the last Harry Potter book and all rest of the movies! Also anything else I end up liking, and instructions on how to keep the Time Police from forming so they can't stop me....you...myself...us? Us. Maybe their parents' addresses and a set of bagpipes or something so I can stop them from being conceived.

I'm torn...

2006-12-05T19:33:48Z

Now that school's almost over, part of me wants to reawaken Ashton and Dominic and give RPing at SortingHat and HogwartsNovus another whirl.

I quit because I was getting too deeply into it, and it was a strain coing up with new things to do and keeping up with everything, plus there were a few upheavals that I didn't like...

Hell, I told myself I wouldn't go back, numerous times. And I know if I go back, it won't be as good as before...

...but damned if it doesn't feel like a thorn in my head that won't go away, and I really did enjoy it when it was good.

I wonder if relationships feel like this...

Eeyuch...

2006-12-05T18:58:48Z

Those were the tritest, most cloying questions...I think my cavities have gotten worse.

*Sigh* Have to do an art presentation tomorrow. Hope I can still remember how to work Powerpoint...

"Crime's a wastin'!"

2006-11-30T10:20:16Z

Picked up the first DVD set of "C.O.P.S." (as in "fighting crime in a future time") the other day. It's not quite as good as it was when I was six, but it's gloriously dumb.

Gaaaahhh!

2006-11-28T21:11:33Z

Damn you Disney, damn you to Hell!!

http://imdb.com/ri/TRAILERS_HPBRIDGE/TOP_BUCKET/47268/title/tt0398808/trailers-screenplay-E30192-10-2

Did you even read the book!? It's not about an ACTUAL freaking magical land! It's about growing up and how your life can suddenly change, and balancing your dreams with reality! It's a funny, sad, wonderful, depressing story, and you've bled all the life and wonder out of it and made it another bland cookie-cutter fantasy film!

This movie wouldn't be good even if it weren't shamelessly ripped off from one of the best books I ever read in fourth grade, just so you could make a quick buck off people who don't know any better!

I take the books I like very seriously, Disney, and if you had a collective face, I'd bite your nose off.

This movie will be worse than anything you did in the 70's. Worse than "The Cat From Outer Space", worse than "Escape to-" or "Return From Witch Mountain", worse...worse than "Pete's Dragon"!

It won't even be worth making fun of.

That is...hella eclectic.

2006-11-11T15:10:32Z

Eh, I'm bored enough to do a meme...

SOUNDTRACK TO YOUR LIFE

Here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...

Opening Credits: F-Zero X OST - The Long Distance of Murder
Waking Up: Crosby Stills Nash and Young - Our House
First day at school: Hamasaki Ayumi - Independent+
Falling In Love: Escaflowne - Angel
Fight Song: The Pillows - Vain Dog in Rain Drop (Noodles cover)
Life: Inu-Yasha - My Will
Mental Breakdown: Sailor Moon - Onaji Namida wo Wakeatte (Music Box Version)
Driving: The Pillows - Want to Sleep For
Wedding: Sailor Moon - Starlight ni kiss shite (Music Box Version)
Birth of Child: Azumanga Daioh - Tenshoku Ikooru Kaikan no Housoku
Final Battle: Sailor Moon - Sailor Moon Team no Theme
Death Scene: Sailor Moon - Heart Moving
Funeral Song: The Magnetic Fields - Why I Cry
End Credit: Maxine Nightingale - Right Back Where We Started From

Three Sailor Moon songs and two Pillows songs? I don't need to "lie" or "pretend" that I'm cool.

Some of these songs match the scenes pretty nicely, actually.

"Botched joke", huh? I'm SO sure. I'll just bet.

2006-11-03T17:58:57Z

I got Final Fantasy XII four days ago, but I haven't even touched it yet, because...because...I've got a US History exam to study for! I already blew my 19th Century Art History midterm.

But, I'll play this weekend, I swear!

...probably.

Stop staring at me, Vaan-on-the-guidebook, with your cold dead eyes! I wanted Ashe or Fran or even Other Girl! Why did you have to be on the guidebook!? Get a shirt! Stop accusing meeee!